To the Mothers Who Think They are Failing

Photo Credit: The Good Mother Project

You are not alone, mama.

Sometimes it might feel like it, and I know that when you look out into the fabricated world of Facebook and Instagram, you are seeing all these other mothers who seem to totally have their sh** together. I know that they’ve got photos of smiling babies turning 3 months old, 6 months old, 1 year old. I know that sometimes you wish away these early days because they just seem so freakin’ hard. And I know that you feel guilty for feeling that way.

I know that the moms on Facebook have hair that look perfectly styled, and they obviously had time and energy to shower and put make-up on this morning. I know that looking at them makes you feel more alone, and I know that you feel like you’re drowning.

I know that sometimes you daydream about an empty hotel room, HGTV and a hot cup of coffee. I know that you’d like to sleep straight through the night again. I know that you’ve cried in the shower, because it’s the safest place to do it where no one will hear you.

I know that sometimes you wonder what the hell you got yourself into.

I know that there are days when you wonder if your baby might do better with another mother. I know that there are days when you just feel like you can’t get it right. That you’ll never figure it out. That you are falling apart. That you are failing miserably.

I know all this. I’ve been there. You are not alone.

In fact, I believe, whole-heartedly, that we’ve all felt that way. That we all have moments when we think we are seriously screwing things up. That we are not all 100 percent confident all the time.

I also know that you are doing a great job. You are getting up, every morning, and giving your heart and soul to your child. You are sacrificing your entire self, and everything you ever knew that to be, and you are giving it all, to your child.

You are amazing. You are doing the hardest job on the planet, and you are making it through to the end of the day. You are not failing – not even close. You are raising a child, a whole other human being, and I know the pressure is intense, and I know that you feel like everyone is watching you, waiting for you to screw it up, or make a mistake.

You aren’t screwing it up. You’re doing everything exactly the way you should be doing it because you know your child best.

You’re doing a great job, mama. You are a good mother.