To the person who cares too much

LLP: Living up to the expectations of others can take a toll on one’s own personal happiness. Read this author’s story on escaping their obstacle of caring too much. 

When I was just 15, I got my first job at a well known fast food restaurant. From the beginning, I loved it. I met some awesome new people and making money was FUN! Generally, I’m a hard worker. So everyday when I went in, I took care of everything I knew needed to be done. I did that for about eight months.

In December, when I turned 16, I was finally trained to learn how to do the more, “grown-up” stuff there. It went great, I loved my job even more. Also at this point, I was already close with everyone there and had met some of my best friends just from working there. In the past, my two sisters who worked for this place had been promoted to managers right when they turned 18. So because of that, I always told myself that I wanted to do the same. In April, I got promoted to Crew Trainer. I was pretty excited because it meant that I was getting a raise.

A couple months passed and I was feeling “eh” about my job. The only reason I wanted to come to work now was because of the people I work with. I hated my job. I felt like I was the only “hard worker” and most people were slacking off or moving way too slow. I felt like I had to do all the work and getting up at 5:30 AM every weekend was just not worth it anymore. I was tired of being so “good” all the time to keep my sisters’ good reputations. Everyday I wanted to quit but I stayed, because I care too much. I didn’t want to leave my best friends. I didn’t want to leave my boss with an “okay” team behind. I wanted to be there to help them but I was unhappy. I walked into work with a frown. I was never in a good mood anymore. I always felt stressed. I hated working past my scheduled shift. I wanted a new job.

As the month of sadness went by, I finally had the courage to start job hunting. I applied for four different places. I got two calls back which was pretty exciting. Within a month of working at my new job, I finally quit that fast food place. My friends there were upset and angry that I left but I finally just told myself that I needed to do what was best for me. If my boss were to give me an even better pay to get me to stay, I’d say no. And guess what, I said no.

I’m most mad at myself for staying at that place for so long just because of the people. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or leave behind a great group of friends. What I was doing was staying because of them, not thinking about myself and my own feelings first. I made my choices by thinking about other people’s feelings. I regret it. I was wrong to think like that because my job now is so much better. I was wrong to let people tell me what I should do.

But in the end, I was also right.

I was right for finally letting myself leave and forgetting about the people who pushed me back. I was right for listening to myself.

My advice to you is this: stop living under other people. Do what you want. Do what you think will be the best for you and not for other people. Yes, people will get hurt, but they’ll eventually get over it. Lastly, stop caring too much. It’s okay to care but remember to think about yourself too.

Please share this story with anyone else who cares too much about others’ expectations. You can submit your own letter on The Love Letter Project. You can also read more stories on growing up here